4 Keys to Make It Through an Awful Day

by Cassie Shortsleeve April 15, 2013, 07:17 pm EDT

About an hour ago, I got the same text message from many friends: Is your dad okay?
Today, my father—a TV news reporter in Boston—had the day off. He wasn’t standing on the finish line of the Boston Marathon with his coworkers when two bombs exploded moments after one another, terrorizing one of America’s great sporting events.
Even so, fear gripped me.
Maybe, like me, you’re a Bostonian. Maybe you were there in Copley Square, or know people who were. Or maybe you just felt the same pang in the gut that everyone did when TV cameras showed the sideline explosions and sheer panic.
Tonight, Boston is in the midst of a sadly familiar drill—sporting events canceled, flights restricted, and law enforcement agents pouring in from across the country. But no matter how far away you live from Boston, you might be feeling overwhelmed and asking the same question: What should I do?
We spoke to Harvard psychologist William Pollack, Ph.D., a  member of the Men’s Health advisory board, about how to weather the emotions that often follow the bombings in Boston and events like it.
1. Trust the pros.In a time of tragedy, it’s important to gather reasonable information, says Pollack. Not every news source is reliable, and not every tweet is accurate. After locating any family members of friends who may have been affected (use text messages as cell coverage , as happened in Boston today, often goes down), tune in to news conferences or follow police stations (@Boston_Police). They will give you necessary information—like whether your need to evacuate if you’re close by, or just how many people were injured—no matter where you are.
2. Tune out to tune in.“Obsessively listening is a form of secondary traumatization,” says Pollack. “As humans, it’s natural to want to compulsively watch what’s going on. We’re drawn to it.” The problem: Taking in intense information very quickly isn’t helpful—it’s upsetting. After you’ve confirmed that everyone you know is safe, “going out for a walk or spending time with loved ones with the television off is in no way disrespectful—they are positives,” Pollack adds. If you’re safe, shut the laptop every now and then. The details—which are useful in processing a traumatic event—will unfold around you in time.

3. Connect with others.Events like this “create massive disconnect,” says Pollack. We wonder who or what could cause such an event. Call your friends. Make dinner with your wife. Hug your kids. Being with your friends and family helps re-establish the connection that feels lost.
4. Separate knowledge and fear.“I think my friends in cognitive theory have it right here,” says Pollack. “You have to separate feeling from knowledge.” What he means: In the wake of these events, you can’t become agoraphobic and give up a part of your life for no concrete reason, says Pollack. Dangers are real. They exist—but are rare. Unless you have true reason to stay away, avoiding public places means that “the people who want to cause harm have caused you harm,” says Pollack.
 http://news.menshealth.com/4-keys-to-make-it-through-an-awful-day/2013/04/15/