Cyber Bullying

Cyber Bullying
In Our Connected Digital Age Bullies Have a New Weapon With Which to Torment Their Targets

Home sweet home is no longer a sanctuary into which victims of bullying can escape their tormentors. Bullies can now stalk their prey after school hours long after their targets have gone home.

Social isolation, public humiliation and malicious gossip have long been the stock in trade of bullies. With the the advent of modern communications such as email, chat, text messaging and cell phones as well as the ability to publish online on websites, blogs and social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace making their message instantly available to millions, the bully's reach and powers of social manipulation have been increased exponentially.

Parents are well advised to pay close attention to how this new threat can impact their children. We have already seen too many cases of children subjected to a cyber bullying attack who have been so traumatized that they have committed suicide as a direct result.

"Bullycide" is the term that has been used to describe suicides caused by relentless bullying. "Cyberbullycide", to coin a phrase, would describe someone driven to suicide following a cyberbullying attack.

In the book Bullycide In America: Moms speak out about the bullying/suicide connection, compiled by Brenda High, the story of Jeffery Johnston serves as a warning to other parents about cyber bullying.

Jeffrey's mother Debbie Johnston writes,

"A bully doesn’t have to be eye to eye to bully someone. Sometimes he or she gets into cyberspace, and then there’s no place to hide from their torment.

With the keyboard as his weapon, the bully violated the sanctity of my home and murdered my child just as surely as if he had crawled through a broken window and choked the life from Jeff with his bare hands. It was not a death that was quick and merciful. It was carried out with lies, rumors and calculated cruelty portioned out day by day.”

Cyber bullies, like any bully, want to feel power and control over their victim. They want to get under their victim's skin. Many kids live and breathe the internet. It is essential to how they see themselves and how they socialize with their peers. The computer is as essential a social tool today as the telephone was decades ago.

This is part of why a cyber bullying attack can be so devastating. Cyber bullies cut to the core of their victim's social life and self image. Targets are faced with threats and intimidation in emails and instant messages, but it is not only fear that the cyber bully can instill over the web.

The potential for public humiliation has been expanded from a target's classmates or school to effectively the entire world, or at least the wired world. Cyberbullies have created websites dedicated to insulting, mocking and humiliating their prey in the most vicious way possible. To be humiliated in front of a classroom of students is bad enough but to be humiliated for the amusement of thousands is more than most kids can bear.

The target becomes the laughing stock for the entire school as word is spread at the speed of light over broadband connections about the latest humiliating website update, blog post or video upload.

It's not good enough anymore for bullies to simply beat up their victims. With digital video becoming ubiquitous beatings are now digitally recorded and uploaded so everyone can have a front row seat and the bloodlust can be enjoyed again and again.

How can cyber bullies be so heartless? Perhaps the internet lends itself to this indifference. Bullies don't have to see their victims or answer for their actions. Like the cowards they are they hide behind their computers - behind a veil of anonymity.

Even though the effects of cyberbullying can be every bit as dangerous as offline bullying, if not more so, you as a parent are even less likely to hear about it happening to your child.

To understand why you have to understand how important access to the internet is for many kids. They will remain silent about cyberbullying because they are afraid if their parents find out they will go off the deep end and cut off access to their computer, internet and/or mobile phone.

Years ago this would be the equivalent of a child who complained of bullying being grounded and losing their telephone privileges! Loss of internet access would be deemed by many kids now to be the cruelest of punishments. Try not to over-react, it is the bully not the victim who should be punished.

http://www.overcomebullying.org/cyber-bullying.html